I love what I wore last Monday.
Ang lakas maka-effortless na elegante ano?
This is one of my most favorite get-up: crisp white polo, sexy jeans and high heels. These three items of clothing are part of the wardrobe essentials that a woman needs to have in her closet. Ano ano pa nga ulit yung mga yun? Perfect white shirt, little black dress, good fitting matching underwear, ballet flats, striped shirt, classic black pants, a fabulous bag, a pair of gorgeous sunglasses and a statement watch.
Segue lang yan mga bakla. The topic for today’s blog entry is our in-laws =)
If you are one of the lucky few who DO NOT HAVE ANY CONCERNS with your in-laws, you may skip this entry and please comment below your tips how you get along with them. We will all appreciate it.
I can say that I belong to the lucky few who do not have problems with their in-laws.
My FIL is the typical, old school patriarch. He is very conservative. He has a very loud voice and Alvin got this from him. Like I said, he’s very old school. He’s adorable in a sense that he doesn’t really show emotions but he has a soft heart. Hindi siya affectionate but he goes out of his way to always be there when we need him. Like for example, when we were renovating our new house, he was the one who was minding the workers while Alvin and I were at work. Ganyan siya magpakita ng love.
My MIL naman is a lot like Cory Aquino. She is very simple, very religious, kind and selfless. She really does think of others first before herself. She’s very motherly and like my father in law, she cooks really well. Sobra siyang maasikaso and she dotes on her two grandchildren.
When I said that I’m lucky with my in-laws, this is because hindi sila mga pakialamero. They do not meddle with our decisions in life. They don’t meddle with our diskarte and how we bring up Anika. I think, basing on the kwentos of my friends, this is rare with the in-laws, especially the MILs. Innate na yata sa kanila ang makialam. In our case, Alvin’s parents give us advices and suggestions. Hindi sila nagkukulang sa mga ganyan but whatever it is we decide on, keribelles naman with them. In fact, I always hear my MIL say, “Desisyon niyo yang mag-asawa eh. Ayoko naman manghimasok.“.
However, there are people out there who have difficult in-laws. Actually, more on sa mothers in law nila ang concerns nila diba?
There are some of you out there who get very stressed especially when their mother in law comes to visit. Presence pa lang ng MILs nila, nakakasira na ng bait. The MILs kasi have expectations with their daughters in law. Sa akin naman din siguro for sure they had expectations pero I crushed it na agad when I told them that I do not know how to cook and hindi ako housewife material talaga. Haha! I managed their expectations early pa lang. I am happy because they accepted me for who I am. They saw naman kasi na kahit hindi ako ang nagaayos personally sa bahay, hindi ako ang nagluluto, hindi ko napapabayaan ang mag-ama ko.
I remember I had a friend with a nakakalokang MIL. We we went to an overnight out of town outing. I asked if she asked permission from her hubby. Yes daw. That night, the MIL kept on calling her. Pinapagalitan. Anong klaseng nanay daw siya inuuna pa ang saya before mga anak.
It was really sad and I pitied my friend. The husband was home with the kids. The MIL was home with the kids too. The husband knew and was okay with her going with us to this trip. The kids weren’t sick. Anong problema?! So weird.
There are a lot more horror stories out there. I have another friend who told us that one of her requirements for her future husband is that the husband should be an orphan. Hahahaha! I can’t blame her though. She’s surrounded with friends with crazy in-laws!
Though I get along well with my parents-in-law, Alvin is very careful with my interactions with them. I have a very strong personality kasi eh. Hindi ako soft-spoken. Walang preno ang bibig ko and one can see in my face if I’m irritated or annoyed. Hindi ko matago eh. These traits may be misinterpreted and may be a cause for conflict. But, because my husband knows that I’m like this, he does extra effort to prevent these scenarios. If he knows a plan or a suggested input will not sit well with me, siya na mismo ang kokontra dun. He will not wait for us to be in a situation wherein, ako yung kokontra sa nanay niya. That is my tip number 1.
My tip number 2 is that the husband should always be protective of the wife and vise versa. The loyalty should always be to each other. Kayong mag-asawa ang mag-kakampi because at the end of the day, your immediate family is the one that should matter first.
Tip number 3 is bite your tongue regardless what is said against you by the other family. Tell your husband about it but as much as possible, do not retaliate. You will never win. It will be you against all of them. Lalaki pa ang gulo. Ikaw ang mas nakaka-intindi, so wag mo nang patulan. Show them that you have class and will not stoop down to make them patol. Your husband will be the one to defend you. It’s his direct family anyway. If he doesn’t do that, may problema kayo.
Tip number 4 is never let your husband feel na pinagkakaisahan niyo siya ng family mo (and vise versa). Again, kayo ang dapat magkakampi.
Last but certainly not the least, tip number 5 is do not live with your in-laws. I have heard about this tip from a lot of people. No matter how nice your in-laws are, do not live with them as much as possible. Bumukod. I observed that almost all of my friends who have complaints with their in-laws, live with them. Iba talaga kasi when you’re all together in one house. Sabi din nila, if it is inevitable, it is better if the husband stays with the wife’s parents compared to the wife staying with the husband’s parents. Hindi ko sure why but my guess is that a house can only have one queen. If you will be living with your husband’s parents, ang mommy na niyan ang queen of the house for sure. Tiklop ka na diyan.
If you have other tips as well, please feel free to type it in the comment box below! =)