Ang pogi ng bumungad na photo ano? =) Hahaha!
Alvin’s photo’s there because I received an email the other day. The subject was “Selosa Wife Seeking Advice”.
Here’s an excerpt from her email:
“Anyway, nagmessage ako because I remember you had a blog post before about an ex of your hubby na kamukha ni mama mary. And that you found out na friends sila sa Facebook and panay ang like ng hubby mo sa posts niya. After that, what did you do? Did you ask him to unfollow that person, unfriend or not to like her posts anymore? Do you have access to your husband’s social media accounts and email? Do you check them once in a while?
Hope you dont mind that I asked. Asking lang because baka I think I need to know how to handle yung mga ganitong situation. Selosa kasi ako. Haha. At hindi naman ex yung girl. Ayoko lang sa kanya. Haha. And although husband naman is not doing anything, parang ayoko lang talagang may whatever sort of interaction sila on FB. I dont know why. Ayoko lang talaga sa kanya.”
Who can relate? Raise your legs!!!!
Okay to answer her, ito ginawa ko after I learned that he was liking the photos of the ex after he has denied they were even friends in Facebook.
First, I asked bakit siya nag-lie. I wasn’t concerned about them being friends in Facebook. I am friends sa FB with almost all of my exes. I was more concerned about the denying part. Nakainom lolo niyo on both times I confronted him about it so hindi reliable talaga mga lumalabas sa bibig niya hence the denying thing. Actually, after the declaration of denial, wala na naman siyang sinasagot na iba when I was asking him. Puros, ehhhhh… ahhhh… lang. Later on sabi niya, less talk less mistakes daw. Kaloka.
Since wala akong makuhang explanation from him, ako na lang naganalyze ng sarili ko. Feeling ko takot lang siya malaman ko. Yun lang. Whatever his reasons were bakit siya matatakot sa akin dahil dun, I don’t know. Frankly, I don’t care. Ang petty.
Second, I didn’t tell him to unfriend her even though he offered to do so. Nakakahiya. Baka sabihin insecure ako. I don’t really care they are friends in FB. I would care siguro if nagde-date sila or something. Di ba? Pero FB, wapakels ako.
Third, pinaramdam ko lang sa kanya na bwisit na bwisit ako sa ginawa niya. Whenever we make fun about what happened, I really tell and show him how upset I was dun sa ginawa niya. Wala akong sinabing gawin niya after nun. Ang sa akin, “what for?”, right? Diyan mo nga makikita if may empathy siya sayo and sa nangyari eh. He knows even though I don’t say it, I don’t like him liking his exes’ photos in FB. Normal naman yun teh. Sinong gagang asawa mageencourage pa ng communication between her husband and his ex?! Sige nga. In fairness kay Alvin, hindi ko na nakikita nagla-like siya. It was very simple. Alam niya ayaw ko, so hindi niya ginagawa. Better ang feeling for me kasi ginawa niya ng hindi ko sinasabi right?
But what if ginawa pa din niya maglike sa photos after? Eh di sisitahin ko ulit. Pag-inulit? Sisitahin ko again. Pag-inulit na naman, ifa-flush ko na iPhone niya sa inidoro. Sige subukan pa niya, i-like yung photos galing dun. And I think he will get the message after that.
Yes, I have access in Alvin’s FB. Ako talaga kasi gumawa ng FB niya and he never changed his password. So pagtinotopak ako like sawa na ako sa FB wall ko, dun naman ako sa FB wall niya magbra-browse. Sabi niya, it’s perfectly fine for him. Once in a blue moon ko lang gawin yan kasi ang busy kong tao. When I do that, it means, I am close to dying of boredom na talaga. That and pagsinusumpong ako ng topak ko. Hahahaha!
Para fair, I told him to feel free to browse my FB wall too kung gusto niya. Ayaw daw niya. Why would he do that daw? Wala daw siyang pakialam sa FB wall ko.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus talaga.
Anyway, don’t worry girls, it’s normal. Normal magselos. Normal na meron kang girl na kinaka-iritahan for no reason at all! (Note: hindi ako naiirita sa kahit sinong ex ni Alvin ha? Most of them my friends pa nga in FB. Para clear lang tayo lelz.). My advice is basta open ang communication between you and the hubby. Wag mag NAG! Be reasonable but trust your instincts.
What I shared is effective sa amin ni Alvin. Baka iba sa inyo. If you didn’t tell your hubbies what to do and he still keeps on doing it, wag magalit muna. Sabihin niyo na sa kanya anong gusto niyo:
“Wag mo nang ila-like photos ng babaeng yung because it upsets me for no reason and I am not PMS-.ing lang”
“I-unfriend mo na yun. Mamili ka sino sa amin dalawa ang i-u-unfriend mo.”
“Kung gusto ka niya i-tag sa mga photos niyo, pwede ba sana hindi yung naka-liyad siya sayo?!”
“Bili mo ako ng bagong bag.”
Charot lang sa last one. Hahaha!
There are men na napaka-dense din that you have to spell it out for them. Let’s accept baka your husband belongs to that kind of species. So try being frank about what you want to happen. Dapat sumunod na siya dun di ba?
If not pa din, batukan mo na. Or isumbong mo na sa Nanay niya. Lelz. Joke lang.
If not pa din, may deeper issue yan na hindi na ako siguro makikialam. Talk it out na among yourselves.
So there! Happy midweek guys!