Lolo Papa messaged me the other day. He was asking if I can go to Amsterdam this June because my female cousin from the States will be passing by Amsterdam on her way back home from Italy. Papa was asking if I can go and help him take my cousin around Holland and the same time it will be a good opportunity for me to have a short vacation. 10 days lang, okay na. Actually before this, nung kasagsagan ng condition ko, Papa told me to come to Amsterdam so I can recuperate. I had second thoughts kasi I felt that I can’t travel without Alvin and Anika.
I am having second thoughts pa din naman for June. I’m scared to travel alone. Baka magka-anxiety attack ako sa plane or when I’m in Amsterdam. If I were to go, I want at least man lang Alvin to go with me. However, hindi keri ng current budget kaming tatlo. Not sa airfare lang but also the pocket money. Ayokong magtravel with Anika na tipid. Siyempre when we’re there, mag Paris Disneyland na yan tska may Warner Brothers Studio sa Germany. Sayang the trip kasi if we all go there tapos we just stay in Amsterdam. Hindi sulit. Malaki laki ding budget ang kailangan if kaming tatlo ang lalarga. Whereas if si Alvin lang kasama ko, pwede kami chill lang in Amsterdam for 10 days. Kaso as if naman magpapaiwan yan si Anika dito sa Manila. Besides, nakaka-guilty for Alvin and I to both go without her.
Bakit kako tight ang budget ngayon? The additional money we shelled out for the renovation of our current house is medyo malaki. Simple lang naman talaga dapat kasi yung renovations, eh di ba nga sa ka-artehan ko, nagover kami sa budget. Hindi naman ako nagsisisi. Titigan ko lang yung bookshelves ko, nawawala ang panghihinayang sa gastos. Lelz. Also, we are having our old house renovated too kasi we are planning to sell it. Hindi naman kami zero pero alam niyo naman ang pagka-sigurista nitong ni Sombrero. Hindi yan nagbabakasyon ng marangya not unless super extra talaga ang gagamiting moolah for the trip expenses. Kailangan laging may naka-tabi lalo na bayaran na naman ng tuition, you guyssss! Wooohooo! Hahahaha!
Anyway, swerte din ako ganyan magisip asawa ko. Financially advantageous sa amin ang opposites attract. Kung ako lang kasi basta may pera, go! Life is too short not to be enjoyed. Kaso ma-la-life is too short naman daw si Alvin sa stress if gastos lang ng gastos without ipon.
When I told Alvin about Papa’s message, he encouraged me to go. Walang problema if ako lang daw muna ang pumunta kay Papa. I expressed my hesitations and fear. Natahimik lolo niyo. He’s seen me during the attacks. He told me to talk to my therapist about this trip. I didn’t tell Alvin but my therapist was actually telling me to have a vacation outside the country ng matagal. He told me this dati pa. Sinabi ko lang noon that I can’t take a leave off work ng months. So malamang, the therapist will tell me to go. Alvin’s still convincing me now. Sabi ko lang malay namin, mabenta yung bahay this month. If that happens, automatic kasama na sila ni Anika. But that is suntok pa sa buwan because hindi pa tapos yung improvements na ginagawa and gagawin pa dun sa lumang house. 90% chance na ako lang ang pupunta sa June and hindi kasama yung mag-ama ko. I’m scared of that thought because ang clingy ko sa kanila nowadays. Hindi ako sure if I want to go.
Hindi ako sure pero I googled na the weather in the dates that I’ll be in Amsterdam. Pa-summer na yun eh! Hindi ako sure na gusto ko umalis pero last night, I was scanning my closet already for the clothes that I will bring. May apprehensions ako with traveling alone pero I messaged na my amigas in Amsterdam na abangan na ako there! I told Papa hindi ko pa alam pero I messaged him if magpa-Paris ba kami. He replied with yes, we can go to Paris or Madrid or Rome or London. Emergerd. Nagpapalpitate na ako ngayon. I don’t know if dahil sa takot magtravel or dahil sobra akong excited!
Ang loka loka ko grabe.
Anyway, there’s the application of visa pa. There’s still a chance the embassy will not approve so I won’t get my hopes up masyado. Mahirap na madisappoint.
I need to push na talaga selling my preloved clothes. Gagamitin ko ang proceeds for my Amsterdam trip pocket money. Kasasabi lang na wag muna magexpect eh! Grrrrrr! Hahahaha! Di bale, at least pagnagbenta na ako, push or not ang Amsterdam, at least may extra money. I wasn’t able to take photos and post the clothes online kasi Anika got sick nung bakasyon.
So there. Yan ang chika for the day. I will be applying for a Shengen visa after this week. I’m currently cramming for Anika’s small birthday party. Wala pa siyang Jojo Siwa na damit! Anyway after her birthday, gorabelles na ako sa visa application. Albeit positive thinking tayo forever, I should practice the no expectations part. Iba din kasi ako pagnag-expect eh so relax relax lang.
Osha, my classes are going to start na in a while. Stay tuned!
Good morning everyone!