Last Sunday, I saw Anika taking photos of her Tatay. When I checked my camera, ang ganda ng kuha ni Alvin.
Ang pogi lang.
Anika and Alvin tease me all the time because I keep on whining why parang ang effortless nilang dalawa magpose in front of the camera and yet, ang photogenic nila tingnan. Hindi daw sila conscious like me. Lelz.
Anyway, I posted that photo here also because it’s our 9th wedding anniversary.
9 years married! Imagine?!
But that was not without those fights na akala mo talaga katapusan na ng pagsasama niyo.
Though I know there are married couples out there na halos hindi talaga nag-aaway, I think for most couples, it is inevitable na may mga ganitong fights talaga. Lalo na if ang asawa niyo like me na medyo mahirap mahalin. Charot. Alvin said that he gets frustrated because hindi siya manalo-nalo sa akin during discussions. I can’t help it. May sagot kasi talaga ako with everything. I have a rebuttal for every argument. Masyado daw akong madunong, ika nga kay Wowa. But after 9 years, nare-realize ko that harmony in the relationship is more important than being right. Pipili na lang ako siguro nung mga hindi ko pwede i-let go versus those things I can let pass. That is a challenge for a person like me who has a Type A personality but for the sake of world peace, I am trying it out. Napansin ko din kasi mas mabait sa akin si Alvin if hindi ko siya masyadong kinokontra.
Being married this long (maka-long akala mo silver anniversary na eh), requires the couple to work hard in keeping the passion alive. We need passion in our relationships. Hindi lang sa sex but generally, we also need passion in how we deal with our spouse. That is my point when Alvin tells me bakit kami nag-aaway. I fight for the relationships I want to keep. Kung wala akong pakialam, oo na lang ako ng oo. I want to have discussions kasi I want to know where he is coming from and I want to make him understand where I’m coming from. Ayoko naman din ng asawa ng oo na lang ng oo sa akin. Hindi partnership yun for me.
Having kids do not make it easy either. Ang busy ng buhay ng isang magulang. It’s a challenge to mind the kids, make them feel loved all the time, mind the house plus maglovey-dovey pa sa asawa. Ang energy minsan kulang. However, we need to make an effort eh. Buti nga ngayon malaki laki na ng konti si Anika. Hindi na siya alagain like before. Pwede na kami ni Alvin mag-pay more attention to each other more.
Remember guys, natural nagaaway sa mag-asawa. If hindi kayo nagaaway, medyo for me, hindi normal yun. Pero like I said, kanya kanya din. Baka that works for you, hindi naman natin alam. The important thing is kahit nagaaway, dapat walang bibitaw. I am guilty of minsan nakakasabi ako ng ayoko na. Masama yun. Masakit for the other one. Pero I say it because of frustration. Ganun ako pagfeeling ko hopeless na and parang hindi na ako love ni Alvin. Pero sa isip ko lang daw pala yun. As long as one person is willing to still work out the marriage, may hope.
Also lastly, walang problema ang hindi napaguusapan. You can always agree to disagree. Okay lang yun.
Oh sorry, isa pa.
Hindi always bright and burning ang fire sa isang relationship especially if matagal na matagal na. You need to keep it alive. Find ways to do it. Don’t give up as much as possible. Remember, happiness is a state of mind. Hindi mo yan makukuha sa ibang tao. Sa sarili mo mismo manggagaling yan.
So yun ang aking mga advice for today.
Pero anniversary kasi talaga namin so lemme leave a short note to Mr. Sombrero.
Thank you for your patience all these years. I know it’s not easy being my husband kasi I’m a very stubborn woman but thank you very much for sticking with me. Thank you for taking care of us. Thank you for being our go to man for anything. You make us feel safe and we love how you always make us laugh. I love you, Babe. Madaming madami.