How’s life, mga bakla?
Have I told you that I’m already weaned from my anxiety meds for a month now? So far so good naman. The whole medication and therapy process took me 10 months. Less sana if only hindi ko pinaki-alaman yung dosage last December. What does this mean? To those of you who are battling anxiey and/or depression, put in your minds that you will get better. When you’re down, there’s no other way to go but up. You just need to seek treatment and gagaling kayo. It happened to me in 2005 and it happened again in 2017. Gumaling ako on both periods so don’t lose hope. Wag niyo lang tiisin yan and see a professional for it.
Next, I’m happy to report that Anika brought home 3 short quizzes with perfect scores this week. One of them was Araling Panlipunan which was her lowest grade in her recent report card. The 4th short quiz was her English subject. 7/10 yung score but when I checked it, tama her answer dun sa isang question. I wrote to her teacher and her teacher confirmed na 8/10 nga siya. Tutukan kamo eh. Hahaha! Ever point counts sa akin ngayon. This is notable because ang sagwa talaga her grades last term. Although no line of 7 naman, they’re not acceptable. Kilala ko si Anika. She can do better than that. We just have to work extra hard to pull up her grades. Tinutukan ko starting 2nd term and there nga, perfect scores. It’s been a while since she last perfected a quiz. I hope derederecho na ito like, forever.
Next is my weight. May hanash ako. Since I stopped drinking may anti-anxiety meds, I’ve been craving for different food especially sweets. Ang laki ng tiyan ko. I expected to gain weight but surprisingly I didn’t. So weird. Ano ito, nagrerecycle lang ang mga fats sa katawan ko and nagsesettle sila lahat sa tiyan ko? Naka-ilang palit na nga ako ng weighing scale eh. Ganun pa din: fatter tummy but same weight.
Anyway, moving on. I frequently receive questions why I don’t blog that often anymore. Napansin ko din yun because parang may kulang na sa life ko. Hinahanap siya ng katawan ko because heller, I’ve been blogging almost everyday for 8 years now. It’s just that one of my learnings since I had my anxiety disorder last year, dapat daw wag masyadong madaming ginagawa. Be at the moment more. When I was blogging often before, hindi ako maka-concentrate that much on the present. Parang gusto ko lagi may fresh kwento for you guys to a point na hindi ko ma-enjoy na that much what I was doing at that moment. Blogging eats up a lot of my free time too. Alam niyo naman my blog, it’s not yung parang kung ano na lang ang masulat. The entries that you read here are very personal and comes from the heart. Kaya kumakain talaga siya ng time.
Ngayon, I’m more mentally present at home. Actually, a lot more present. Kailangan din kasi and it’s what I want. I cannot describe to you how daldal Anika is. Araw araw – minu-minuto may kwento or questions! Since she’s the only child, wala talaga yan kausap sa bahay except us. I decided to lay low a bit in blogging and instead spend more, more time with her. I really enjoy this stage where we’re in. She’s so curious about everything tapos nakakatuwa makinig sa mga kwento niya. I am able to see how her mind works and validate na napapalaki nga namin siya with the right values. So ang gusto ko when we talk, feel niya na 100% ako and hindi like thinking about stuff to blog about next. You can’t get back lost time. They grow up in a blink of an eye.
I don’t have plans of stopping to blog. Hell no. I am very happy doing this. I know hindi naman mawawala yung magbabasa eh. As long as may mga moms out there who can relate and mga chikadorang women with the same wave length, we will still see each other here in my small space in the internet.
Yun nga lang, as a homemaker (whatever, Mommy Fleur) and a working mom, kulang ang 24 hours if I would want to fit the things I want to do all in a day.
I want to make more Mommy Fleur videos kung hindi nga lang 20 years ang inaabot sa editing.
I want to be able to shop for Christmas gifts already. I rounded up a list of my suggested Christmas gifts! I have to write about them soon! Soon like before Christmas, hahaha!
I want to finish reading a book. I have a lot of half read books at home. It’s such a pity I can’t find time to finish even just one. I was at the bookstore with Anika the other weekend. I saw a lot of books that I wanted to get. I stopped myself kasi, ang dami pa nga talagang libro dun sa bookshelf ko na mga unread.
I want to spend time just walking around leisurely in a mall. Yung katulad dati na na you’re there and wala ka naman talaga ng sadya. I miss those times.
Basically, I just want some more free time.
But we shouldn’t complain. We should just make the best the most out of it.