Last night, while we were watching TV, Alvin showed me the Facebook live video of the Razorback drummer who jumped to his death yesterday morning.
Alvin told me that he was going to jump but I wasn’t emotionally prepared nung tumalon siya. I almost dropped Alvin’s phone when he did it.
I felt nauseated and awful after. We had dinner and the food tasted like paper. I was palpitating so bad that I cried.
I will not deny that jumping from a building never crossed my mind during my lowest of low. Sometimes I dreamt of it. Kaya when I saw the video, I felt that I was the one who was falling and it made me feel sick. I was so upset. I felt for him. Sobrang bigat na siguro ng nararamdaman niya for him to decide to do that.
You have to know that clinically depressed people don’t just kill themselves out of whim or because they’re weak or because they’re “stupid”. Matagal na matagal na nilang pinagiisipan iyan. It’s an emotional torture. It’s all they think about for days, months or years until finally, hindi na nila makayanan. This is the reason why we all should be aware of the facts about this sickness. Hindi niyo dapat birahin ng birahin ng kung ano ano lang when a depressed person decides to come to you to talk. This can break them. Awareness is very important. Wag tayong magpaka-ignorante about it. Wag tayong magpaka-judgmental about it. If makitid talaga utak niyo and you think these people are just weak and papansin, better shut your mouth na lang. If hindi niyo kayang makinig, just walk the fuck away rather than say damaging things to that person.
Here are some things that you can say that are seriously not helpful:
- “Wala yan.” (That’s nothing)
- “Arte mo lang yan.”
- “Ang hina mo naman.”
- “Ako nga ganito ganyan pero hindi ako nagkakaganyan tulad mo.”
- “Sakit mayaman lang yan.” –> thafaq. Seriously.
- “Kung hindi ka aayos kausap, wag mo na lang akong kausapin.”
If someone comes to you and tells you that they’re depressed, wag mong soplakin. The best is that you listen. Usually, they just need someone to talk to. If hindi ka maalam how to talk to them, please refer them to a professional. Hindi kailangan psychiatrist agad. A counselor or a psychologist can do muna. They can assess the person if they need a psychiatrist.
I know it can be difficult but please be sensitive to the people you love. Minsan, hindi mo din talaga malalaman na may depression ang isang tao like Robin Williams and Kate Spade. I want to learn more how to read the signs. Sana may pa-seminar for the people who have loved ones who are depressed.
For people who are going through this, please, please remember that, with a professional help, everything can get better. It may feel na parang hopeless na hopeless ka na, please believe me na aayos din ang lahat. Ako ang proof nun. It will get better. You need not to end your life because it will get better. Promise.
Wag na wag kang bibitaw.
If you feel that no one can understand you, please try calling the Hopeline Project.
The HOPELINE Project, a 24/7 crisis support hotline for depression and suicide prevention, can be reached at (02) 804-HOPE (4673), 0917 558 HOPE (4673) and 2919 (toll-free number for all Globe and TM subscribers).
If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are free to call on 116 123, or call CALM on 0800 58 58 58
Or message niyo ako.