Bilis ng panahon. Parang kelan lang, I was celebrating my birthday. Now, it’s the middle of February already. Before you know it, maririnig na natin si Jose Marie Chan.
This year started quite well for me. I spent the New Year’s Eve with Anika and Pineda’s family. Sa tagal na namin friends ni Pineda, it was the first time we had Media Noche together ever. Tuwang tuwa kaming dalawa ni Anika. Isabel and Faye are in New Zealand na and wala namang kapatid tong si Anika so I was grateful she had people from her generation (haha) na nakasama nung salubong.
The next day was my birthday and for this year, I had a triple birthday celebration.
One was dinner at my favorite buffet restaurants with Wowa, LT, Lyn, Anika and my cousin Bobet. Anika organized it with Wowa.
Second was with my Post Construction Team. They threw me a surprise “party” the day after my actual birthday. Wala kasing pumasok nung birthday ko. They assumed that the president will declare it a holiday. Eh hindi. Lol. I was touched and I really appreciated their handa.
Last was my dinner with my closest, closest girl friends. My core group. Anika planned it. She said I cannot not have a get together or a party this year. I didn’t celebrate kasi my birthday for 2 years. I begged off at first but she wasn’t having it. I’m glad she persisted because it was the first time that I was able to gather all of them in one place. It was so much fun. I was crying and laughing at the same time. There was a program c/o Pineda. There was gift giving with matching speeches. Naging debut-slash-bridal shower tuloy yung dinner. Ewan ko ba dun sa mga yun pero ang laughtrip sobra.
Last month was also the month when I felt some kind of normalcy coming back sa buhay ko. I started feeling like my old self. I was laughing more. I had energy to go out and do stuff more. The struggle with anxiety was getting less and less because the anxiety was coming less and less. I found myself actually doing things because I enjoy doing them not because I have to do it. Gets? Also, they said I look happier. Well, I feel A LOT happier. My eyes are more alive daw. Pineda said hindi na daw ako parang zombie. Lol. I was able to finally finish a book! And I was able to watch a movie na and finish it. Nakakakilig forever ang Pretty Woman, I swear.
For the first time in more than two years, I actually felt that there’s something to look forward to. I can actually feel the light at the end of the tunnel. Ito pala yung sinasabi nila. I may not be 100% there yet but I am now definitely somewhere where I have been praying for.
And, for the first time in a really, really long time, I feel alive.
Thank you, January.
Thank you, God.
Belated happy birthday Fleur! I pray for your peace of mind, good health, and long lasting happiness. God bless you!
Fleur, bumabalik na yung dating sigla mo, ramdam ko after ko magbabad dito e. I am proud of you!
It’s been almost three years since my husband died and it has been hell. Super. Sarap mamatay as in. But this year, is quite different from the past three years. I have decided to change. Una, niligwak ko ung katulong ko and I resigned from DepEd. I decided to work from home na, matagal na namin sana itong plano kaso nauna ung death nya e, pero eto tinuloy ko na. Ako lahat dito sa bahay (laba, palengke, luto, asikaso ng 8 and 4 yrs old, tutoring them bukod pa ang trabaho at sideline and studying. First three weeks grabe nakakaloka, gusto ko nang sumuko kasi ang hirap ng turnover sa school namin (school forms, clearances etc). Pero ngayon medyo nakakasanayan na đŸ™‚
And yeah right, malaking tulong yung mag-ayos ng bahay. I let go of the old stuff I have, nagpagawa ako ng hanging cabinets, nag-ayos ako ng bahay, pinabago ko ang pintura. Di ko alam kung bwisit na ang dad ko sa akin kasi sya yung pinaka-karpentero ko dito sa bahay at ang dami kong pinapagawa sa kanya hahaha! Ang dami kong napapansin. Pati ung stuff toy na binalot lang ng katulong ko sa trash bag na itim, asar na asar ako, kaya ilalabas ko na sila mamaya.
I also noticed na bumaba grades ng anak kong panganay, kaya kailangan kong tutukan. I have many things pala na napabayaan because of grieving. I still think of what might life have been kung naka-survive si husband pero di na gaya dati na talagang grabe.
Cheers to us, Fleur! Lab youu!