Mommy Fleur

Based on the number of private messages I get from women going through separation from their spouses or significant others, medyo madami-dami din pala tayo. And it’s quite funny for me because yung mga hanash natin parang may template. Lol. Pare-parehas din.

What not many people talk about is the very specific pain of grieving working mothers: who still have to wake up early, pack kids’ baons, mind the house, go to work and act like everything’s fine while their hearts are quietly breaking.

Side kwento: I remember being in my office 3 years ago. My assistant manager was consulting with me about work. Out of nowhere, tears fell from my eyes. As in tuloy, tuloy. Since close naman kami nung collegue ko na yun, she just continued discussing with me and I continued answering her. Akala mo scene sa Maalala Mo Kaya eh. Sobra sakit nung dinadala ko that time but I had to suck it up. I needed my job so I needed to function kahit papaano.

Also, I think y’all will agree with me that it’s not easy to paste a smile on your face while talking to your kids when, to be honest, what you really want to do is maglupasay sa sahig. I tried doing that during the first few years. Smile. Pretend. Be “strong”.

Eh hindi naman bobo anak ko. She could see through it. Kita niya na pilit.

So medyo naiirita ako sa mga know-it-alls na nagsasabi dati na, “Wag mong ipakita sa bata na nalulungkot ka.” As if naman sinasadya ko. As if gusto kong i-dump sa kanya yung problema ko sa buhay. Kaloka din talaga mga tao. Me-mah lang. Umiinit tuloy ulo ko. Lol.

Anyway, there are also the small and sometimes invisible things needed to keep a house running. On a normal, happy day, managing a household is already like you’re in a circus. You’re thinking about what to cook, the leak in the roof, the dog’s diapers, nasaan na naman yung other half ng mga lintek na medyas na ’yan, remembering to pay the bills, making sure the house doesn’t get robbed, tending to the weeds sa garden, and a hundred other tiny things no one notices.

Now imagine doing all of that habang may pinagdadaanan ka. While you’re grieving. While you’re questioning yourself. While stalking your ex online (bakit mukha siyang masaya na?!). While you’re trying not to cry in the bathroom before dinner. While feeling anxious about what the future will look like.

The world doesn’t stop just because dinudurog ang puso mo. The rice still needs cooking. The varsity game still needs attending. The bills still need paying. The trash still needs to be taken out. The hanash of a teenager still needs listening to (whether you feel like it or not). The light bulbs still need replacing (hindi ko ba malaman bakit ang daming bumbilya ng bahay ko). And somehow… you still show up.

You feed the four dogs you didn’t even buy. You plan meals while mentally rotating groceries so walang mapapanis. You check the locks, the leaks, and all the weird noises in the roof and walls. You make sure there are fruits, vegetables and vitamins for everyone. You swallow the anxiety pag kinakapos ka na. You wonder kung may kumakain ba ng hair ties at lagi na lang nauubos.

You keep the house running and you go to your day job while your heart quietly mends in the background.

No one sees these tiny, invisible things. The mental load that never ends. The patience that’s tested with every forgotten homework, every unfinished chore and pag may naririnig ka pa talaga na mga bagay bagay that are not helpful for you. Despite all these, you keep going.

That’s strength. That’s love. That’s survival. And somehow, through it all… you still show up.

We see you, Mommas. God sees you too. Hindi ka Niya papabayaan. Promise Niya yan

One of the restaurants we have recently tried is Bom Gosto! in One Ayala in Makati. From the outside, the restaurant’s interior looked very fancy. Akala mo fine dining so it was kind of intimidating. However, in front, there was a poster for their lunch sets. Php 495 per set includes an appetizer, an entree and 1 glass of iced tea.

Anika and I were wary trying the lunch set because the lunch sets of the similar restaurants were para talagang tinipid in terms of size, presentation and taste. Nakakadisappoint. If you like a more delicious entree, you would have to add to the price. Aabutin ka pa din ng 700 to 800 per set.

We were pleasantly surprised when we ate here the first time because (1) masarap yung food, in fairness. Second, hindi tinipid yung serving. Third, the drink that comes with their sets is really good. Hindi siya iced tea na parang isang drum na ng ice ang natunaw dun. May quality dito sa Bom Gusto! up to their drinks.

And so we ate there again last weekend with Wowa.

Continue reading “Bom Gosto! Restaurant Review”

I get asked a lot how I was able to build a good relationship with Anika. Some envy our closeness while others want to know to prepare for the future teenage children. Mahirap to deal with a teenager ha. It’s a whole new stage of parenting. I know parents with teenagers can relate. Nandiyan yung hormones nila, moods, experiments and kung ano anong issues pa sa buhay.

Firstly, I cannot take all the credit because mabait na bata si Anika. Paano siya naging mabait? I think because I was very conscious and patient in disciplining her when she was younger. Tiynaga ko yan mga bakla pagsabihan, i-upo at kausapin and I really gave time.

At the moment, I am not kampante din because we all know people change, circumstances change. I always pray that this good relationship I have with my daughter will withstand seasons, issues and time. Si God bahala diyan.

Anyways, Anika is very open to me. I know stuff about her. She openly tells me what’s happening to her, her concerns, problems, her hopes and dreams.. as in lahat talaga. Normal ang ganitong messages or calls from her: “Nanay! Where are you na?! What time will you be home?! OMG I need to kwento you something!” or “Nanay, go home na please! I’m so sad!” or “Nanay, you will never guess what happened!”

So how did I keep Anika close to me and have this bestfriends-but-still-with-respect-to-authority relationship with her?

First and ito na talaga yung pinaka-tip ko to parents, NEVER KO SIYANG BINARA. Ano ba sa english yun? “I never shut her down.” Basta ganun. I never undermine her feeling and thoughts. We process these together. I help her understand them. I don’t tell her na she’s shallow or walang kwenta yung sinasabi niya or concerns niya. Regardless if it’s an idea, a dream, a joke or a thought lang, as in never talaga. Whatever issues or concerns she has, I listen to her. I patiently explain to her. I don’t judge her but I correct her if she’s wrong. I make her understand. Tiyagaan talaga. I think if parents do the opposite of this, the kids will feel hesitant in sharing what’s on their minds and hearts. Yan yung iniiwasan ko. Magsecret ng kung ano ano sa akin. I want to be able to know what she is thinking and feeling so that I can guide her in preparation for the real world.

Second, I know all her friends. I know her manliligaws. I am friends with them. Her friends actually like me for some reasons. Maybe because I listen to them too. And I chaperone Anika whenever she goes out with them. Chaperone in a way na hindi naman ako buntot ng buntot sa kanila (I did that when she was younger, nakakapagod lol). I bring her where she’s supposed to be. I wait around the area. I have Life 360 with her. I pick her up and bring her home.

Third, I admit to her when I am wrong. I apologize. Hindi ako almighty na parent. I do not give her the impression that I can never do wrong and I am of another being in a sense na excempted ako pag may mali ako ako sa kanya and never magsosorry.

Fourth, I show up. Consistently. I am there in all school programs and events. I am there in every volleyball game. I am there during doctor visits. I am there in the good times and bad. Consistently. Hindi kung kelan lang convenient sa akin. That’s another thing I always thank God for. I am grateful that He gave me a job and bosses who understands that I am a mother first and foremost. Because I show up consistently, Anika was able to feel that I am reliable. When there’s trouble, I am the first person she calls. She is not afraid that I will get mad. Well, she gets afraid but she knows better. She knows that, yes, I will get mad, but it will be a lot, lot better for everyone, if she tells me agad.

Fifth, I respect her independence. She communicates to me whenever she needs her alone time during the day. I don’t bother her during this time. Nasa room lang siya. But she knows hindi unli ang alone time. Before I was a helicopter parent. I think it was brought by my anxiety. I have learned to relax all these years. I have learned to let go little by little. I let her decide on things appropriate for her age. We cannot smother our kids, I know. We don’t want them naman na nakaasa lang sa lahat with us until they’re adults na and all.

Other tips are they typical and obvious ones: good communication with each other, spending quality time together often, laughing together and praying together.

Again, I pray that Anika and I maintain this good relationship we have. Continuous effort, I guess? Do you guys have other tips?

Ang anak ko, parang kakaluwal ko pa lang sa sinapupunan ko kahapon, biglang nagattend na ng prom niya the other day. Yeah. I can’t believe it too!

Look how tiny and adorable, toddler Anika is here.

Anika and I have been looking forward to prom for years, and I am not exaggerating. I feel one of the perks of having a daughter is you get to prepare with her for prom. I was born to be a stage mother so imagine how excited I was for this day. To be honest, mga isang ligo lang, mas excited pa talaga ako sa magpro-prom. Lol.

ME: Teka, wala pa akong susuotin.

ANIKA: For what, Nanay?

ME: Sa prom mo.

ANIKA: You’re kidding, right?

ME: Whut? Ihahatid kita sa Okada. Magaantay ako ng 8 hours dun. Alangan naman nakapambahay ako. Siyempre a-aura ako ng slight.

She got it naman.

Continue reading “Anika’s Prom Suppliers”

*warning: baka maumay kayo sa photos ko*

Time really does fly.

I felt it so clearly recently while signing documents at the office. I had to write the date then, I just stopped.

2026.

Parang may nag-freeze sa utak ko. It’s already 2026. Five years have passed since my life—and Anika’s—changed so drastically. So much has happened since then. Alam niyo na naman the gist.

Later, I found myself scrolling through old photos. I could see how much my body has changed in the past five years. Ang daming nangyari sa buhay, and my body changed along with it. Parang sabay silang dumaan sa seasons—stress, healing, survival, growth.

This is how I looked like last December 2021. I weighted 130 lbs. I was at my heaviest na hindi buntis.

Continue reading “Photoblog: The Past Five Years”

Today, I’m sharing the skincare and beauty products that have been absolute game changers for me lately. If you’re anything like me and have dry skin, like Sahara desert and bakbak levels, finding the right balance between hydration, protection, and a little glow can be tricky. But after trying and testing a bunch of products, I’ve found some favorites that keep my skin happy, healthy, and glowing—even in our humid Manila weather. Plus, I’m sharing where you can get them here locally, so you don’t have to hunt all over town.

La Roche-Posay Effaclar Gel Moussant Purifiant (On sale at AUD 24.39 from AUD 41.95 = Php 919.47)
Even though I have dry skin, I use this cleanser around three times a week—and surprisingly, it works really well for me. It helps clear out excess oil, gunk, and that feeling of congestion without making my skin feel tight or stripped. I usually use it when I feel like my skin needs a deeper cleanse, especially after wearing makeup or being out all day. Alam niyo naman sa mga project sites, grabe the dust, hasa ng pintura and all. Dumidikit lagi yan sa face ko. I know it’s meant for oily skin, but with the right balance, it’s been super helpful for keeping my pores clear and breakouts at bay.

*Anika asked me to buy this for her in Chemist Warehouse when we were in Melbourne. Gosh, I love Chemist Warehouse. It’s cheaper to buy beauty products and perfume there. However, her derma gave her a different facial wash so no choice. Akin na lang ito. Lol. I saw that they are selling this in Lazada pero please be careful to check if legit.

Continue reading “Beauty Products Recommendations 2025 Edition”

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” — Lamentations 3:22–23

I honestly never thought I’d find myself here—openly talking about God’s faithfulness. Pero ang dami na talagang nangyari—at ang dami pang nangyayari—and through it all, one thing became super clear: God never gave up on me. Not even at my worst.

Continue reading “I’ve Seen God’s Faithfulness”

I was browsing through my old photos from about two to three years ago. Back then, I was really thin—as in, sobrang payat. I couldn’t help but notice something behind those images. I really looked depressed! It’s strange how the eyes can’t lie, no matter how much you try to smile for the camera. Looking at those pictures now, I can see what people have been telling me lately: “You look healthier and happier now.”

Curious, I compared my photos from the past year and a half to those older ones—and you know what? Tama nga sila. I do look happier now. There’s more life in my eyes, more glow in my skin—even if I’ve gained some weight along the way. I even get teased sometimes that I look way better now than I did before the separation. Thank you.

But here’s the thing: I do not want to keep gaining weight. That’s what pushed me to start focusing more on my health and fitness. As if being a thriving, working, single mom wasn’t already a full-time workout in itself—LOL. But I’ve realized that wellness isn’t about looking skinny, it’s about feeling strong, energized, and emotionally balanced.

This blog post is for every mom out there who’s juggling career, motherhood, and a million other things—but still wants to prioritize herself and her health. Because yes, it is possible, and no, you’re not selfish for doing it.

My fitness journey didn’t start because I wanted abs or to fit into smaller clothes. It started when my doctor told me that I needed to exercise to help with my mental health. I was struggling with anxiety, and I needed something—anything—to ground me. Back then, it was all about recovering emotionally, regaining confidence, and giving my mind something else to focus on aside from worry. Those were my original “whys.”

Continue reading “How This Single Working Mom Tries To Stays Fit and Healthy at 40+”

I’ve been separated for a while now. Long enough to reflect and long enough to start noticing the little things — the ones that used to slip by unnoticed when life was lived as a pair.

Also for a while now, I have been hearing how my married friends bicker about each other (fondly and not so fondly lol). Sometimes when we do heart to heart, I find myself telling them, “Naiimagine mo ba how it is, for example, if wala na siya sa life mo?”. I’ve realized how many moments couples often take for granted — not out of neglect or unkindness, but simply because routine or petty quarrels can dull even the most meaningful parts of daily life. When you’re part of a “we,” some comforts and experiences feel automatic. But when the “we” becomes “me,” like pagmagisa ka na lang sa buhay, those same things can echo loudly, often with newfound awareness.

Let me be clear — I’m not writing this because I suddenly miss my ex-husband or wish things had turned out differently. I don’t. This isn’t about longing for the past. It’s about recognizing what changes when you no longer share your life with someone. It’s about the little things that once felt insignificant, but now hold a weight or tenderness I didn’t expect.

Continue reading “The Little Things That Aren’t So Little Anymore”

Back when I was sick, one of my blog readers messaged me to ask how I was doing. She had just found out she had cancer. From that moment on, we started lifting each other up. We would check in on each other to ask how the other was holding up. I would send her prayers, and we encouraged each other to keep fighting. Ang motto namin: hindi puwedeng sumuko because our kids need us.

I told her how much I admired her positivity, even in the face of something so heavy. I admitted that sometimes, nahihiya ako to complain about what I was going through, knowing she was carrying a much harder battle.

Last week, I sent her a message. She didn’t reply. Later that day, I found out… she had already passed away.

Sobrang lungkot. Ang bigat sa dibdib.

Life is really short. One moment you’re okay, and the next, everything changes. Sabi nga nila, you think you have a hundred problems—until you get sick. Then suddenly, you realize you only have one.

Continue reading “Bucket List 2.0”