Rebuilding

Hi, guys.

First, sorry ang weird ng design ng page ko. I’m not sure how it looks like on your end pero I know it’s not the same as before. The previous design kasi of my blog is no longer compatible with the new WordPress chenes. So I’m now using a basic template na lang muna while figuring out how to fix everything properly.

Anyway, hi again. I hope you’re all doing better, coping better or best of all, thriving. My last post was February pa and I shared with you the good news. I was getting better. Praise God that, fast forward to 6 months later, I am better than how I was last February. I’ve already enumerated before how I got to this better state. I just continued doing those things. My hormones are mas maayos now. The coping mechanisms that I learned for my anxiety are very helpful. I will dedicate a separate blog post for that. I really want to help other people who have anxiety kasi I know how difficult it is to have it so expect anxiety tips here.

Though manageable na the anxiety, I feel like my tolerance for stress dropped sobra. I think it’s normal given the trauma I went through. Okay lang. I know I can build my stress tolerance over time. Basta forward lang lagi.

I am slowly adapting also to this single mom life. It’s not easy pala talaga. I am solely responsible for the house bills, groceries, pets (lech ang mahal ng may mga aso), house repairs and house up keep (bakit ba ang daming bumbilya dito sa bahay ko?!). All these while rearing and taking care of Anika. All of a sudden, ako na lang ang adult sa bahay and I feel that napunta sa shoulders ko yung pagdidisiplina sa kaniya. I often check myself if natuturuan ko ba ng proper values yung bata. Napapalaki ko ba ng tama? Naaaddress ko ba mga concerns and naiisip niya about the separation? And OMG, I never realized gaano ka daming hanash meron ang isang teenager! Wowa, ganito ba ako dati?! Lol. Nakakasira ng bait minsan. Nakakapraning. Wala ako mapagtanungan sa bahay eh. Yes, I confide to Wowa. She tells me to chill. Hahahaha!

And yeah, ramdam ko pa din the loneliness. Malungkot. It arrives suddenly, the lungkot. I am happy naman realizing that almost all my close friends are happily married. Pero since they have their own families, it’s challenging to find someone to go with me whenever the need arises. And in my age, almost everyone’s married na. Bihira ang merong kaladkarin na kakilala who can go with me whenever I ask them. In short, there are (a lot) of times na mag-isa ako. Disadvantage of a separada. Eww, the term. Lol. Very Vilma Santos na movie. But it is what it is. Hassle lang talaga yung walang kasama. I need to learn to be okay na alone lang especially when going to doctor check up or hospital procedures. Ang lakas maka-self pity eh. Yan ang dapat talaga tanggalin because despite our circumstances, we should always think that there are a lot, lot more things to be thankful for.

Buti na lang kako may gym. In the next blog posts, I will tell you guys bakit ako naggi-gym ng bongga. Like weight lifting levels. I want to encourage you all to lift weights because lifting weights actually burns fats. Wait niyo makita sa body ko what I want to show you so I can convince you guys. Hahaha! But most importantly. nakakatanggal ng stress ang going to the gym. Sarap ng feeling afterwards. Yung challenge lang talaga is yung pagpunta. Nakakatamad most of the time. But when you’re there na, okay na. Afterwards, ang sarap.

For the meantime, those are my life updates. Bahay, work, gym and kung saan need ihatid and samahan si Anika, yan ang buhay ko ngayon. In the succeeding days, I want to share with you my learnings, changes and kung ano ano pa. Ang dami kong chika and gusto i-share grabe. All in due time. Promise =)