Dear Anika: Things To Know Before Having A Boyfriend

Dear Anika,

Sweetheart, one day, hopefully when you’re done in school and are already working, you will have a boyfriend. I hope before then, you will be able to read these advice for you. Wag ka mag-alala anak, kahit hindi mo siguro ito mabasa, ibabaon ko ang mga ito sa utak mo.

One, please, never chase love. Do not chase anybody for love, period. Remember when you were little and you were playing tag? When you’re “it”, you run after somebody and then you stop and go back to me to cry because you tell me you’re frustrated because you cannot catch the person. I told you that there is a reason why you’re running after that person. Kasi kako your playmate is running away from you kaya you couldn’t catch him/her. Ganyan din sa love, anak. If you chase and chase it, chances are it will run away from you. Pagminalas malas ka pa, you catch somebody not right for you. You won’t want that. Have patience. Love will come to you at the right timing. Maniwala ka sa akin.

Two, always remember that you are enough. You do not have to change for somebody in order for him to love you. Do not change to please anyone. You will see how great it is to be loved for who you are. There was a boy dati who said gusto daw niya mahihinhin na mga babae. Eh ang pogi so naging mahinhin ako around him. You know me. Mahinhin is the last adjective you can describe me. But I tried for the sake of him liking me. My friends thought I was always constipated because I wasn’t acting normally. In the end, I didn’t get the guy. Ayaw niya sa mukhang constipated.

Three, a boy will do anything if he likes you. Kahit busy yan, he will always find time for you. He will move mountains, makasama ka lang if gusto ka niya talaga. Madami din magiging rason yan if he doesn’t like you so you have to be alert in identifying which is which. Also, do not make it easy for them to have you. Ang peg natin dito anak is “pagmay tiyaga, may nilaga.”.

Four, do not settle with anyone just because you want to be in a relationship. Anika, Wowa has told me this so many times that it is already etched in my brain. I will tell this to you too. You are a terrific person. You are a great catch. At this point, I know you are an educated, intelligent, well-rounded, beautiful and fine woman. Any guy will be lucky to have you so do not settle just for the sake of having a boyfriend.

Five, pick somebody who has other great traits apart from being gwapo. Pick somebody who is smart and who can challenge you intellectually. Pick somebody who’s into sports. Pick somebody who is passionate about something. Pick somebody who has a good relationship with his mother. Pick somebody who is respectful, God-fearing and honest. Pick somebody who can make you laugh. Pick somebody who can make you feel special even with simple ways. Pick somebody who will not restrict you. Pick somebody na may goal in life. Pick somebody who makes you a better person. Pick someone na may kinabukasan ka.

Six, with all the items in number 5, you will have to understand that you have to know the person muna before entering a relationship with them. Best if you can be friends with him first. Good friends make great boyfriends. Magandang foundation yan. Basta bottom line, wag kang magmadali. In line with this anak, I encourage you to not to decide on the one agad. Go on dates. Hell, you can even fall in love more than once. Trial and error din kasi yan. The more people you meet, the more you realize who you want and what you want from a relationship. Pero anak, may border dito ha? This doesn’t me that you go out with anybody who will ask you out. See item #4 above.

Seven, once you are in a relationship, do not give your all. Do not lose yourself in the relationship. Like, cliche man pero magtira ka lagi for yourself. Sigurista tayo eh. In case things won’t end in a happy ending, you have pieces pa with you to build on and start all over again.

Eight, respect yourself first. Yan ang una. When people see that, they will give proper respect to you too.

Nine, wait before having sex. Isusuko mo lang yang Bataan sa husband mo.

Ten, always, always remember that I will always be here for you no matter what. You can tell me everything. Let me guide you. Guide lang naman because this early (you are 6 years old as I am writing this), your Tatay and I are trying our best to instill good values in you. I know you will make sound decisions when you grow up. But if you come to me about love, I promise I will not be judgmental of your choice in men. I will not promise though that I will keep to myself all my opinions about him or your relationship. You are my only child. It is my self-imposed obligation to keep an eye on you no matter how old you get.

That’s it. I love you Anika.

Love,

Nanay