I had my check up with my OBGYN last Monday. I was hoping to be able to get a fit to work certificate already. However, I am still moderately bleeding which apparently is not good. Plus my uterus daw has not shrunk yet so I need more rest. Another week daw and then I have to go back for a check up again.
One more week of house arrest. I’ve gained 10 lbs already with all the kain-tulog-Netflix that I have been doing. Mahirap na naman magpapayat. Kamote.
I know that people are telling me that I should take this opportunity to relax. Lagi daw ako nasa work so samantalahin ko na ang pagrerelax na ito. I know they mean well and I see the sense in what they’re saying. However, na-realize ko though that staying at home na hindi ako pwede gumalaw, stresses me more than relaxes me. Hahahaha! It may work for some people but it’s just not me. Nakakapalpitate to a point that I was stressing na paano pa when I’m retired na. What will I do?!?!
And then a few nights ago, I was chatting with Pineda. She told me that she’s watching Heal at Netflix. Recommended daw sa akin. I watched it this morning and I must say that I like it. It says there that our chronic illness (actually almost all illnesses) are brought about stress and negative thoughts. Parang we should always have a positive outlook in our life. Walang stress as much as possible because yung stress creates toxins in our body making us sick. Kasama na diyan of course na dapat we eat healthy food, drink natural supplements and have a good and steady support group. Lahat nagcocontribute dapat sa happy hormones because Oxycontin helps fight killer cells in our body . Ang galing ng documentary na ito. It makes me want to look for a “healer” both psychological and physical. Spiritual therapist ata is the more appropriate name for them. Naisip ko tuloy, we need talaga a life coach that we should consult with every now and then. I’m not sure kasi if we have spiritual therapist here but I am sure there are life coaches. Because in the end, mind over matter ang lumalabas. If you have a positive mindset, it gives natural healing to the body. Meditation was highly recommended to fight stress and I swear to myself that I will do meditation every morning na talaga. I will allot 15 minutes of my morning for it. It helped me overcome my anxiety disorder so I have proven to myself that it’s really helpful for me.
Watch niyo din guys. Maganda. It gives a different insight about our mind and body.
Anyhow, hindi talaga yan ang dapat ibablog ko supposedly hehe. Napahaba lang ang intro ko. I’ve had a few realizations these past few days. Staying at home doing nothing can open your eyes to a lot of things.
One, I wish I gave more empathy to my mom friends who lost their babies to miscarriage or to whatever reason why their babies died. I’m sorry I didn’t know how painful it was and how the pain will be carried years after the losing of the baby. I just hugged them and went my way. Had I known, I would have hugged them longer, treated them to Samgyupsal or something (you know their feelings with them) and just empathized with them longer. You’ll never know how much it hurts and how it changes ones life not unless you experience miscarriage.
Two, I have a lot of unread books! My goodness. I was staring at my bookshelves and I have A LOT of unopened books. And then Toots’ girlfriend, Russ, told me last weekend that the Big Bad Wolf is coming again this month. I kennat. Books on sale ay hindi kaya ng very low EQ ko. Nevertheless, yesterday we didn’t have internet so I was able to finish 4 books. Ganun ako ka-bored.
Three, if you are not doing anything, it seems that all people are busy. Even Anika. Grabe. The more I stay at home, the more I feel that I’m not cut to be a housewife. Although, in fairness to my situation, pinahilata lang talaga nila ako 24/7. However, ang problema, kahit naka-hilata lang ako, gastos ako ng gastos. I couldn’t cook so padeliver ako ng padeliver ng food because I wanted to you know, eat my feelings too. I was always at the Honestbee website having kung ano anong groceries delivered to our house. Don’t get me started with Monterey. Bestfriends na kami nung operator kaka-padeliver. And I have just discovered Grab. I never knew pwede kang magpabili kay Grab ng kung ano ano. Hinahanap ko nga yung Mango or Zara sa choices, apparently, shopping services aren’t opened yet. Niloolook forward ko yun.
Fourth, have you guys paid 100% attention to your kid or spouse lately? I realized I don’t do that often. Whenever Anika tells me something about school, half of my mind is listening to her but the other half is either thinking about work or thinking about the things that I have to do. I’ve been guilty of that. These past few days however, wala akong choice to give 100% full attention to her because wala akong ibang mabigat na iniisip. All that I needed to think about, napagisipan ko na during the day while waiting for her to come home. When she comes home from school, ang dami niyang kwento! I look at her eyes whenever she tells me her stories. It’s called daw ENGAGED LISTENING. Ito yung talagang inaabsorb mo what they’re telling you. Not only you’re listening but you also ask follow up questions as well. Para lang pagnakikinig ka sa isang napaka-juicy na chismis sa kumare mo. Ganyang level of attention ang nabigay ko kay Anika these past few days. I’m happy I was able to do that. I am amazed how animated my daughter can get. She’s really smart too. If you listen to her well, akala mo mga babble lang pero ang galing ng analysis niya sa mga bagay bagay.
And have you guys played with your kids na walang ibang iniintidi? If not yet, you should try it. No phones and no distractions. Ang sarap ng feeling and it’s a lot more fun. I think they appreciate it more too. I sincerely believe in quality time over quantity talaga. I realized I should do this more often. I also get to know Anika more. She’s growing up na eh. And I am able to understand her way of thinking by truly engaging with her. Malaking bagay yan mga bakla di ba? Especially papasok na sila sa Tween years nila.
Finally, I know by next week I will be back to being that workaholic, busy woman again, however, sana I will remember how it is to detach myself from all the busy-ness in my world and concentrate more on what’s really important which is my family and my health. Kailangan din ng katawan kasi natin ito eh, yung magpahinga. I don’t know if my miscarriage happened for a reason (ang mean kasi for me if it did eh) but if totoo nga for a reason, I think the world is telling me that I have to slow down. Ayaw ko magslow down so it made me slow down ng wala akong choice.
Watch niyo mga bakla yung Heal in Netflix. Ang daming matututunan.