I journaled a lot when I was on the road to getting better. I counted. I have 4 notebooks filled with letters to people, notes, bible verses, learnings from my counseling sessions and kung ano ano pa. The other day, I was going through these notebooks and found a list. Natuwa ako because it was a list of what I wanted to do when I get better or when I’m 100 percent na. I’m not sure lang sino sa mga counselors ko who suggested that pero it helped that time to have something to look forward to. Here are some items on the list:
I’m going to eat.
That time, I wasn’t eating well. I was just eating so not to die. Hindi ko natitikman or savor the food. More than 2 years ako ganyan. Obviously, now with 30% body fat, kumakain na ako (ng more that needed). Haha!
I’m going to go shopping.
My outfits were lousy that time. Like, wala ako pakialam sa suot ko. It helped that I was really slim so whatever I wear, maayos naman. Konsuelo. Have I started shopping? Yes, a bit but mostly pants. I don’t fit in my super payat clothes anymore and my pre-separation clothes are too big for me. I’m slowly rebuilding my wardrobe now. Yung fit for a new me. Clothes that are not revealing pero sexy and classy at the same time, comfortable (a must!) and yung timeless. Hindi nawawala sa uso because practical na tayo ngayon.
I’m going to go on a vacation.
Hopefully with Anika.. I went for a quick trip to Australia earlier this year and it felt so good.
I’m going to finish my Masters.
Yup. Next year, I shall start that.
I’m going to blog again.
Here we are! I am praying I can do it continuously like before.
I’m going to reconnect properly with my close friends.
If you’ve experienced what I went through, you’ll understand what I mean. All those time, I was there but wasn’t really there. Lutang. You know that? Survival mode kasi eh. Ngayon, I am trying to catch up and spend time with them ng maayos. Like being engaged, hindi parang tulala kasama.
I’m going to laugh a lot.
I felt like dalawang taon ako hindi tumawa. Happy to report that I’ve started laughing again. Yung abot mata.
I’m going to spend quality time with Anika to make bawi.
Because of the tulala moments and naka survival mode, I want to make it up with Anika this time. I’m more engaged. “May buhay ka na ulit, Nanay”, she said.
I’m going to eat ice cream and cakes.
Halatang kaya 25% body fat lang ako that time kasi I didn’t eat sweets talaga.
I’m going to enjoy a sunset.
I’m going to drive again and go to a road trip.
I’m going have the house cleaned.
Magpapaganda ako.
I realized that we take for granted a lot of things in our lives especially the simplest ones. We complain more often than we are grateful. We shouldn’t wait until these are taken away from us like our health (both physically and mentally) or the things we have now or dumaan sa unos para lang marealize na swerte na tayo sa buhay natin. Imagine, even driving lang ha, I appreciate it so much now na nakakapagdrive na ako. I couldn’t do that before. Little things talaga.
One tip I wanna share before I end this kwentuhan, every morning when you wake up or every night before you go to bed, write 5 things you are thankful for that day. It works wonders. Promise.