Tips When You Have Anxiety Part 2

A blog reader messaged me today. She was making me kamusta and asking how I am. She knows kasi that I went through a “phase” in 2018 and then miscarried this year. She wanted to know how I am na after those series of bad events.

Yan ang love na love ko sa inyo guys. We may not know each other personally pero nakaka-touch din talaga yung care niyo sa akin. I have received a lot of messages during that time and I still get some ngayon na nangangamusta. Kaya nga despite having mga hanash like the anxiety disorder and my miscarriage, I remain thankful kasi hindi lahat ng tao who are undergoing difficulties in life have people like you. Maraming salamat talaga.

Anyway, this blog readers was making me kamusta because parang daw nagka-sunod sunod yung “unos” ko in life. I just got over the anxiety disorder then dumating naman yung bagong challenge — the miscarriage. Hindi ba daw ako inatake ng anxiety ko. To tell you the truth, I didn’t get attacks. Maybe I was so busy self-pitying and trying to make sense bakit nangyari sa akin yun that there wasn’t a time na atakihin ako. That’s the only reasonable explanation that I can give. One of my mommy friends suggested to me that I see my psychiatrist para magkaron daw ako ng “debriefing” after the miscarriage. Para mai-labas ko daw baka may mga bad feelings pa ako na kinikimkim. I have yet to do that but I am planning to do so soon.

Since I had anxiety disorder and we all know that it can be triggered anytime, she was asking me for tips on what to do if you have anxiety disorder. All people experience anxiety. Nagiging disorder siya if it affects your day to day. You need to see a specialist if it comes to a point that you cannot function anymore.

Ever since I told you guys about my anxiety disorder, I’ve been receiving at least 3 messages from different people about it every week. Consistent yan ha? There are a lot of people opening up na about this mental illness and I am happy that I am able to help them understand it. You can read my first entry regarding tips for people with anxiety here. Medyo detailed na yan.

I would just like to add more tips that I have learned along the way.

One, know your triggers. Identify them. What I did before was I kept a journal. I wrote what happened everyday and I rated my anxiety 1 to 10. This way, I was able to see what I was doing when I had my attacks. I studied myself well talaga. Tiyagaan eh. I was thinking, you have to know your enemy so you can fight it. I learned that caffeine intake, loss of a loved one, fighting with Alvin, doing nothing and the feeling of uncertainty of the future are the factors that trigger my anxiety. So I cut down my caffeine intake. And then pagmay nagkaka-sakit ako na loved one especially Alvin and Anika, I psych myself up na wag maging anxious because it doesn’t mean that they will die. I didn’t fight with Alvin over petty things and I kept myself busy by working, blogging and exercising. Knowing what triggers your anxiety will enable you to anticipate if ever you will have an attack. Malalabanan mo na. Don’t worry if it’s hard at first. As you go along, you will get a hang of it. It will be easy na for you to manage your anxiety.

Two, if you feel like you’re having an attack, do the 54321 Grounding Technique. This is how it works: Look around the room and name 5 things that you can see. Then name 4 things that you can feel (cool air, etc). Then name 3 things you can hear right now. Then name 2 things you can smell. Then name 1 place you’d want to visit or be in now. This greatly helped me during that time. Nawawala kasi sa isip ko yung anxiety. You can google other Grounding Techniques online and you can experiment ano yung pinaka-effective for you. In some times naman, sumasali ako sa usapan ng ibang tao. Ayun, nawawala din yung feeling of being anxious because nabu-busy ako makipagchismisan.

Three, detach yourself sometimes from the world. Do not be overly concerned masyado with other people or what they think of you especially when you’re having attacks. Remember that there will be a lot of people out there who will say na wala lang yan. Hindi kasi lahat nakaka-intindi. Wag mo silang pansinin and wag ka magpa-apekto. You do not owe anybody any explanation. Wala ka din utang na loob gawin ano gusto or ineexpect nila from you. Example, I didn’t want to go out during that period when I was having sunod sunod na attacks. I wanted to be by myself or only with Alvin and Anika only. If ever abutan naman ako sa labas, lumalayo talaga ako sa tao. As long as hindi naman ako nambabastos, wapakels ako. This happens sometimes sa gimikan eh. Tumatahimik ako because inaatake ako. Kinakalkal ko phone ko just to take my mind off it. Minsan paghindi nakakaintindi, naiinis sa akin pero wala talaga akong pakialam sa kanila. Busy ako ayusin sarili ko at that moment. Iisipin ko pa ba ano tingin nila sa akin? You shouldn’t too.

Four, open up to your loved ones. One thing that makes me sad is when I hear a person who has anxiety attacks say na wala daw siyang mapagsabihan because the people surrounding the doesn’t understand what she’s going through. Imagine how alone that person feels? You know at first, Alvin’s doesn’t understand this sickness. Wala sa vocabulary niya ito. He thought maarte lang meron nito or yung mayayaman. Sakit mayaman daw *eyeroll*. Pero he forced himself to understand and be there for me. Wala eh. Sa kanya talaga ako huhugot ng lakas sa mga pagkakataon na yun. Si Pineda nung una hindi din niya gets. But later on, she read all about it and how she can support me. Na-touch talaga ako dun. Si Wowa ganyan din sa start pero eventually inintindi din niya. I cannot stress how important a support group is to a person with this kind of illness. It can make or break you eh. If wala talaga, nandito naman ako to listen. But I strongly suggest you see a psychiatrist or a professional. Malaking tulong ang therapy nila.

You can also join support groups. Member ako nung isa niyan, sa Facebook. You can just click the link. Madami makakatulong sa inyo dun.

Five, having said number 4, sadly, you have to stay away from people who cannot understand you. I already mentioned this when I first wrote about it but I want to reiterate it. It’s super important eh. Stay away from people who will just berate you for feeling that way. For the meantime lang naman until you get better lang. Minimize your conversations/interactions with this person especially if they make you feel worse. We cannot blame them though. Kanya kanya din kasi ng beliefs yan and I have proven, there are a lot of Filipinos who still cannot accept mental illness. For me, I don’t get mad at them. I still keep them in my life because I love them. However, I never talk to them anymore about anxiety to avoid conflicts. Ayaw ko na kasi magexplain kaya ayaw ko na lang pagusapan.

Ang hirap kaya magexplain talaga nito to people who never had it or are in denial that they have it.

So there. Those are the additional tips that I can give you guys.